Oregon man joins long list of gross neighbors

For some men it’s a dark haired, slender, buxom woman that really gets their engines revving. For guys like 47-year-old Antonio Hall-Rivas from Oregon, a four legged beauty with a long mane does the trick.

For nearly eight months,¬†Hall-Rivas was sneaking into his neighbor’s barn and doing… “things” with at least one of his neighbor’s horses. The first time he tried to get frisky with his favorite, the horse kicked him so hard that it gave him doubts as to whether or not he wanted to keep trying. Turns out the horse should have kicked a little harder because he went back for more… and more.

The owner of the horses said she noticed a man pulling up his pants running out of her barn numerous times but could never catch him. He even eluded police for a while after they set up cameras in the barn.

Here is what I don’t fully understand… or at least some of what I don’t understand, because there is a lot.

1. The original story states that he was her neighbor. I understand that maybe this lady owned a lot of property and may not have been buddy buddy with all of her neighbors, but you would think someone would have guessed it was a neighbor after seeing the person for the 10th time.

2. The horse this guy was molesting was a gelding horse. Upon researching what a gelding is I found out that it is a castrated male. Do you think the guy knew it was a male horse? And if the horses junk was gone, what was this guy doing? I can barely stomach walking buy the horses at a fair, let alone hanging out near one’s butt.

3. It took¬†Hall-Rivas dropping his hat for one of the cops to get enough of a DNA sample to figure out who was doing this. Really? Reeeeeeally? All the times he was with the horse he never left any kind of DNA? Me thinks that maybe the cops didn’t want to do what it would take to get DNA from the horse.

Hall-Rivas is being charged with burglary, trespass and sexual abuse of an animal. His court date is April 16th.

I’m going to go throw up now. This isn’t MCN’s first horse related neighbor story, it won’t be our last.